How to make the very best Christmas Cake, Wedding Cake, or anything-else Cake.
Gather round, gentlemen, and I will share with you a closely-guarded Third Millennium Man secret that’s been kept under lock and key, for – well, actually it hasn’t. But it’s a really great cake recipe nonetheless. It isn’t going to be cheap – certainly nowhere near as cheap as buying a ready-made cake, but what do you expect? This celebration cake is the proverbial business. Be prepared for some serious envy from whoever you allow to try a slice.
We at Third Millennium Man refute the outdated notion that the kitchen is ‘a woman’s place. With showstoppers like these, you can reclaim the kingdom with a demonstration of Mastery. A Third Millennium Man doesn’t need you to cook for him, madam – so show me, what else can you do?
I remember when I first lived on my own. I was invited over to my mother’s for Christmas Day. I wanted to make a contribution, and decided upon making the Christmas Cake.
Mother was – well, motherly. “Don’t worry about all those expensive ingredients” she said, “they don’t make any difference at all. It says in my recipe to use butter; I just use Stork. It says to use brown sugar; I just use the white stuff that I have”. She then went on to say how she uses the washing up bowl as she doesn’t own a mixing bowl large enough, and ended the conversation with how she was going to make her own, just in case mine didn’t turn out as hoped.
Despite Mother’s assurances to the contrary, I decided to just go for it. To make the best dang cake I possibly could. I started out with my basic recipe – which absolutely knocked Mother’s effort into a cocked hat, by the way – and I’ve been embellishing it and adding to it ever since. It’s now better than ever, though the core cake remains the same. I even use that same cake tin I did so many years ago.
For the very best possible results, make your cake well in advance. My best Christmas Cake was made in January. It gives the flavours a chance to mature. That does not mean to say it’ll be rubbish if it’s made a week before, it just means it’s for the best if you plan ahead.